


White Noise

by grrriliketigers



Category: The Closer
Genre: Amnesia, F/F, Tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-31 16:17:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3984613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grrriliketigers/pseuds/grrriliketigers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe our memories are just white noise. Brenda Leigh Johnson discovers that feelings are all that matters after an accident gives her amnesia.</p>
            </blockquote>





	White Noise

**Author's Note:**

> written for gameofcards for a TROPES challenge.

Sharon looked impatiently at the display on her phone. Not only was five fast approaching, not a single member of Major Crimes nor the blonde’s husband had returned her calls. She heaved a heavy, put upon sigh and looked over at the unconscious Brenda Leigh Johnson. 

Sharon stood up and walked up to the side of the bed. If she didn’t know any better she’d think Brenda was just sleeping. The blonde looked so peaceful and sweet with her hair splayed out around her head like sleeping beauty. Sharon leaned closer, studying the younger woman’s delicate features. Her lipstick was smudged but Sharon mused that that was likely the least of Brenda’s problems at this point. 

In lieu of giving the information to her next of kin, they’d agreed that Sharon being a police officer and being the only person currently able to be with Brenda entitled her to know the details of the situation. She was out cold but so far no signs of any damage – meaning she could wake up in ten minutes or ten days and they had no way of estimating. And Sharon had no way of estimating when she’d be able to get ahold of Fritz. 

Sharon and Fritz were both de facto Major Crimes members at this point. All of the Major Crimes squad split up into smaller groups to pursue the current case which had been getting more complicated by the minute. Sharon had no idea how _she’d_ been the one stuck with Brenda. 

No, that was a lie. She knew that it was because Brenda was a liability to the LAPD and they’d already named one rule after her and, though she did technically have three names, there weren’t many other rules that could be named for her. Sharon was Brenda’s babysitter. 

It wasn’t even that Brenda and Sharon hadn’t come to like each other. They were amicable and Brenda had been doing a lot to make Sharon’s job a little easier. Even when the rest of the crew was giving Sharon a hard time Brenda attempted to be accommodating and acknowledged that Sharon was looking out for her and for the people she cared about. 

That did not mean that it was always easy to be around Brenda. That day, leading up to the accident, hadn’t been one of their good days. Just because she knew Sharon didn’t choose her current assignment and that Sharon was looking out for her, didn’t mean that she didn’t sometimes resent her for it. This case was particularly stressful for everyone, no one was in a good mood and both Sharon and Brenda had spent the morning sniping at each other. 

Then the accident. Then they went to the hospital and there they’d remained for nearly four hours. 

When she was in high school, Emily had been in ballet rehearsal and run head on into another ballerina and had blacked out for about a half hour and had a concussion for the next week. That had been stressful enough but the doctor said that the longer Brenda remained out the worse off she could be. 

Sharon decided she was going to fix Brenda’s lipstick. It wasn’t really for Brenda anyway; Sharon needed something mundane to make this situation seem normal. 

Sharon cupped Brenda’s cheek and then used the thumb of the other hand to wipe away the Cover Girl Fireball 910 from the porcelain skin. Brenda stirred and Sharon pulled back abruptly. 

Brenda’s eyes fluttered open and Sharon stared down at her, stunned. “Hi!” Brenda said cheerily. 

Sharon furrowed her brow and took another step back. “Hi…” 

“You’re really pretty.” Brenda sat up. 

“Maybe you should lay back down. How are you feeling?” 

“I feel great. Why?” 

Sharon searched her face with scrutiny. “We were in an accident and you hit your head. You were unconscious for hours.” 

“Well, I feel fine.” Brenda swung her legs around the side of the bed and pushed herself into a standing position. “I’m assumin’ we know each other but remind me of your name.” 

Sharon bristled. _Talk about being ungrateful to the woman who has saved your ass quite a number of times in quite a number of ways._ “Captain Sharon Raydor.” 

“And my name?”

“Brenda!” Sharon rolled her eyes. 

“Brenda?” Brenda thought about this for a long moment. 

Sharon furrowed her brow again and stepped closer. “Are you really not kidding?” 

Brenda shrugged helplessly. 

“Oh, dear…” Sharon sighed again. 

“I could kill for some chocolate right now.” 

Sharon smiled at that. _At least some things are constant_. Sharon picked up the pudding cup from the rations placed on the bed table and handed it to Brenda. 

Brenda peeled back the foil and took a gigantic bite and Sharon watched an expression of pure pleasure wash across Brenda’s features. Sharon wasn’t sure she’d ever been that excited about _anything_. 

After Brenda had devoured her chocolate fix she fixed on Sharon again. “How long have we been together?”

Sharon looked at her cell phone again. “Well, we left Major Crimes at about ten. So, we’ve been together for almost seven hours, believe it or not.” 

“I mean _together_ together.”

Sharon tilted her head in confusion before the realization dawned on her. “ _No_ , no, no, no… we’re… we’re not… No.”

“Look, I may not know your name – or even _my_ name – but I know how I feel when I look at you.”

“Don’t. Please.” Sharon said softly. 

“I get butterflies in my stomach. My heart skips a beat.” 

“ _Stop_.” Sharon insisted, more forcefully, her eyes filling with tears. Sharon was perfectly happy to let whatever there was between them remain unspoken. 

“I look at you and I feel _love_.” 

“Don’t do this, Brenda.” Sharon pleaded, starting to pace in the small room. 

“Don’t you feel the same way?”

Sharon stopped and turned to face the younger woman again. “That is entirely beside the point.”

Brenda furrowed her brow and looked at Sharon like she’d just sprouted a second head. “I think that’s exactly the point.” 

“You have a husband.” 

“Well, where is this guy? He’s not here. _You’re_ here.” 

“He won’t answer his cell. I’ve been calling him for hours.” Sharon held up her phone as proof but Brenda was hardly swayed by this. 

“I know that I look at you and I feel safe with you.” 

“ _Stop it_!” Sharon snapped, feeling no small amount of panic. “I love you too, okay? But it’s not worth the complications to pursue this.” 

Brenda’s face fell and gave Sharon the most wounded expression she’d ever seen. She immediately regretted causing such a face but didn’t take it back since she’d given voice to that particular concern. Brenda was _not_ a safe choice. 

Brenda was selfish – and that was something that Sharon greatly admired about her: she was no one’s door mat, she took what was hers and quite a bit that wasn’t and didn’t feel inclined to consider how her actions affected everyone else. Sharon was the complete opposite, she was cautious and studious and even now didn’t make any decision without thinking of her grown children. While Sharon often dreamed of throwing caution to the wind, doing something that was just for herself, consequences be damned, she wasn’t able to separate these desires from her concern for others. She was the oldest of three children and, more often than not, forwent going out with friends to help her mother with her siblings, she worked long hours to help put Jackson through law school (and the favor was never returned), she took a position in the most hated division of any police department so she could be promoted faster so she could make more money to support her two children after Jack gambled away their savings. Brenda Leigh Johnson didn’t know what sacrifice even meant. Sharon didn’t think she had the energy at her age to have another significant other who always put themselves first. 

“I will fight for this.” Brenda insisted. 

“You don’t even know me.” Sharon whispered glumly. 

“I know I _love_ you. I feel it in my _bones_.” 

“ _Love is not enough._” Sharon pursed her lips. 

Brenda’s face softened in concern. “I wish the person who hurt you was here right now. I wouldn’t let them get away with that.” 

Sharon’s eyes welled up and she covered her face with her hands, trying to block out the blonde, trying to be anywhere but there, willing it to be so. 

Sharon startled when she felt Brenda’s hands on her biceps. Sharon moved her hands away from her face. Silence hung poignantly between them until Brenda spoke. “I want to be with you. If you want to be with me too we can figure out the rest as we come to it.” 

“You don’t remember anything, you don’t even know your own name.” Sharon sighed. 

“Maybe that’s why I see things so clearly. Maybe I can see past all the white noise to the important things.” 

Sharon could understand why Brenda Leigh Johnson always got what she wanted. But little did Sharon know that this would only be the first of many strange things to happen that day.

**Author's Note:**

> 


End file.
